Embarrass yourself for a chance at an ARC!
Guess what today is? It’s Make a Fool Out of Yourself in the Comments Section for a Chance to Win an ARC Day! Or, not such a mouthful: Three weeks to release day!
That’s right. The release of Plus One is only three weeks away. I’m trying not to think too much about that because A) OMG THERE’S SO MUCH TO DO! and B) holy son of a nutcracker, my book is coming out in three weeks.
If I focus on either of these things, I tend to feel a little like I just inhaled a corndog, a deep fried snickers bar, a 64oz diet coke, then proceeded to go on the Tilt-A-Whirl. Seventeen times.
Instead, I’m going to give away some ARCs! I know, right?! Free books yay! You can enter a couple different ways. If you want the easy way out, simply tweet me at @WriteAsRain_ with the hashtag #PlusOneARC. You can tell me about your day or what your dog’s name is or what color socks you have on. Or, if you’re exceptionally grumpy because it’s Monday and you haven’t had your coffee yet, you don’t even have to say anything, just stick that hashtag in there! See? Easy. I’ll randomly pick a winner tomorrow night to receive a copy of Plus One in your preferred format!
Cut off for entry is 8pm CST 4/16.
Now, if you still like easy, but maybe you hate twitter (or *gasp* don’t even have one!) and you’re a Facebook lover. Welp, head over to my Facebook page, like it, and post a comment. That’s a two-fer. You gotta do both to be put in that drawing, because sometimes I can be a hardass. In the comments, I don’t care what you talk about. You can tell me about your favorite book, what you’re reading now, or what you had for breakfast. See? Again, easy.
Now for the fun part.
As you may or may not know, Plus One kicks off with a bang with Olivia on a date from hell. It’s one of many that she’s been subjected to, and while I (thankfully) have not personally had the misfortune of attending one of these hellish events, my imagination was a very fun place for a while as I wrote this.
I know bad date stories abound, and I want to hear yours. Maybe it was your first date or your fourth date. Maybe you said you had to go to the bathroom and escaped out the window or climbed down a fire escape. Maybe you ended up marrying the guy. Whatever it was, I want to hear about it. Post it below in the comments for a chance to an ARC of Plus One. The one that makes me laugh so hard I pee (or cringe so hard, I want to pet your hair and erase it from your memory) will be selected. Here’s hoping you guys have had some shitty dates!
Let’s recap. Three ways to win: Twitter (#PlusOneARC). Facebook (like page & comment!). Blog (embarrass yourself for the sake of a free book!). That’s three copies I’m giving away, and if you enter in all three places, I suppose your chances are that much higher, yeah?
To help get the ball rolling, here’s an excerpt from Plus One and some of the many, many bad dates Olivia’s had over the years.
So, can you top that?
You’ve got till tomorrow night (8pm CST) to try!
ETA: Due to the awful events that unfolded in Boston on Monday, I’m extending this till the end of the week–new cutoff is Friday, April 19 at 10pm CST.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected, directly or indirectly, by the bombings.
Does a no-show count as a bad date? Because I think being stood up counts as one of the most embarrassing experiences ever.
Then of course there’s that time were I was out with a guy for drinks and my heel caught on the deck of the outdoor bar and I tripped and kind of, may have flipped our table. That was embarrassing too.
I have 2. Both with my (now) Hubby of almost 22 years, so things turned out alright thankfully!
The first time he came over to dinner at my house, my Mom made Chicken Fried Steak. Dinner was going great. We were feeling pretty grown up, talking about current events and really enjoying our time learning more about each other.
All of the sudden, he gets pretty quiet and stops participating in the conversation. I was confused and wondering what the heck happened. Looking over at him, I noticed that he had a weird look on his face and it looked like he was having a hard time breathing. When I asked him if everything was alright, he pointed to his throat and picked up his milk to try to take a drink. It immediately came back up all over his plate. By this time, I was clued in to what was going on and started to freak out a bit. I had him stand up and I stood behind him and attempted to give him the Heimlich. At the same time, I’m yelling to my Mom “Call 911!”. The closest Fire Station was about 1 block away, so I knew that I could fake my way through the “Heimlich” that I was attempting. When about 5 minutes passed, and they hadn’t arrived yet, I was pretty much yelling “where the hell are the medics??!” My Mom then says “Oh, you weren’t just saying that? You really wanted me to call?” Luckily, he had just enough of an airway that he didn’t pass out, and the moment the Medics arrived, the “Heimlich” I was faking my way through worked and out popped the chunk of Chicken Fried Steak. We have never had it for dinner since.
The second date we went on, he took me to see “My Girl” in the theater.
During the movie **Spoiler Alert** Thomas J. dies and is in an open casket for his funeral. Vada comes running to the casket and she’s crying and talking to him. Asking where his glasses are and if he wants to go out and play, etc.. The theater is really quiet at this time and my (now) Hubby BURSTS out with a very loud SOB. I look over at him and he’s full on bawling. At the time, it was so freaking embarrassing. (I’m sure more for him than me. haha) Looking back now, it probably sealed our fate. I’ve never let him live it down. My closet love story sucker for a good cry in a movie guy. <3 <3
The second date was a few weeks after. We met for a drink at a bar, which coincidentally I previously met someone else on an internet date thre, (That one was pretty uneventful. I only spilled an entire beer on my lap :/) Anyway, I knew right off that I never wanted to see this guy again, and was wondering how I was going to end the date without having to have another repeat of a face raping. The only thing that flashed in my head repeatedly was: This guy is a Tool, This guy is a Tool. We were there for an hour and another girl and guy came in. We struck up a conversation with them for like an hour.
The bar we were at closes at 12, so we decided, all of us; Me, my date, the girl, and her friend, to go to another bar. We hung out there until they closed at 2.
The girl invited us back to her house to drink a little more. NOTE TO SELF: If you go, take your car. No, I did not take my car. Anyway, the girl and her friend were cool, so I went.
We were all hanging out. I got up to use the bathroom and smoke a cigarette. When I came back the girl and my date were off in the other room, door closed, pandora on and turned up really loud. Yeah, didn’t cover up the sex sounds. Me and her friend just looked at each other and were like WTF?
Funny thing is she had just moved into the house, there was no heat, and no furniture. So, me and the friend just drink more beer to stay warm and start to dance around the living room. We were making noise, we weren’t loud, but I guess we were too loud because this paint Spackle can comes flying out the bedroom door. Weirdest. Thing. In. My. Life. To. Ever. Happen. I mean I understand panties on the door, but a paint Spackle can?
Things got weirder when her friend tried to make-out with me. No, just no. Didn’t happen, though we did have to cuddle up on the only piece of furniture, which was a recliner, just because it was so cold.
All in all it wasn’t a bad night because I couldn’t help but think, this girl saved me the awkward ending of a date first kiss.
So, yeah, I’ve been doing this online dating thing since I separated and divorced my ex. Some dates have been bad and some have been good. Not many have amounted to much. Two that really stick out in my mind though happened just this past January.
The first one was with this guy that lived outside of Philadelphia. He was quite a bit older. As we started to plan what we were going to do for our first date, I was immediately turned off when he started suggesting places to eat around where I live; ie: 3 blocks from my house. I was uncomfortable being that close to my house. I told him there wouldn’t be anything for me to eat on the menu at the place he suggested, because I am vegan, which there really isn’t. His response was couldn’t you just have a salad? Um, sure if I want iceberg lettuce, a couple of carrots, and one or two sweet pepper slices to be my dinner. Sounds tasty and satisfying, right?
So, yeah I wasn’t really looking forward to hanging out with this guy. While I was getting ready for this date, he texts and asks if we could meet up at 7:30 instead of 8. That was around 7:15. I wasn’t even dressed yet. I’m chronically late, so I was like no, can’t do that. I figured he must be there, so I rushed to get ready and was there at 7:50. He wasn’t, so strike two and three right there. Plus he doesn’t drink, like ever, so that’s strike four and five..
The conversation at dinner wasn’t that great, he ordered a meat pizza, which doesn’t bother me, but I think he did it out of spite.
When dinner was done he wanted to come back to my house. Thank god my roommate was home and I was able to use her as an excuse as to why he couldn’t. He really wanted a tour of my town, so I drove him around for the full 5 min tour. We got back to the restaurant so I leaned in for a hug and he MOUTH RAPED my face. I finally got him to stop, but it was so bad, so, so bad. Left my face all red and my nose pealed for a week because of facial hair burns. UGH. Thank god he texted me on Monday and said that we lived too far a part to have a relationship.